Ken McElroy was a town bully in rural Skidmore, Missouri. He’d been accused of dozens of felonies- pedophilia, rape, arson, burglary and cattle rustling. He was prosecuted twenty-two times, but avoided conviction on all but his last charge. He was shot in broad daylight, and his murder was never solved.

It was the shock of real time, how fast and gory it was, seeing a mass of animated muscle and nerve- a mass that spoke in words, drove, interacted with the people around him even if those interactions were frequently, well, unpleasant- reduced to an inanimate, reduced to just a messy something that would either rot and stink or burn. There was the shock of how simultaneously awkward and graceful it was, how the blood arced out of Kenny McGill’s head and chest as he staggered like bull that’d been sideswiped by a semi.
   Before he fell, he looked down and laughed as his chest flesh hung off of him, as if attached by hinges. “You fucking cowards,” he laughed. And it was true, this was a guerilla attack by three men. With their hunting rifles, they’d fired from behind Kenny’s baby blue pick-up, his stack of lumber, the forked tree beside his house.
   However, they’d argue this wasn’t an act of revenge. This was a long running problem, and it had to go, and there was only one way to get rid of it, a way that didn’t require pride or honor. No pride or honor was involved in this sort of thing anyway.
  When he finally went down, the bleeding would stop for a while, then resume, like it was timed. There seemed to be something eerily controlled about all the bleeding, like the blood had a mind of it’s own and knew what it was doing, or like it was being pulled by magnets underground.
   The principals in the act, Ron Miller, Cory Huck and Dennis Leroy, nursed tall boys of Old Style around a small wooden table in the dark of Meyer’s Tavern. Carl, the diminutive, bartender, bald, ruddy and shriveled, gave them a grim, knowing look as he bought them their first round. They wouldn’t have to pay for a drink the rest of the day, they may never have to pay for one again.
  “I don’t know fellas,” Cory said, looking down into the open tab in the top of his beer can, like it’s a keyhole with a view to some sort of escape. “Maybe I’m not so tough, but this doesn’t sit right.”
   “Think of it this way,” Ron swigged from his beer. “Will you miss it? Poisoned livestock, stolen livestock, our fucking barns and houses being burned down, being chased out of our own fucking yards with shotguns?”
  “Our fucking wives and daughters being raped?” Dennis chimed in with an incredulous sneer.
   “That’s all…I know,” Cory sighed. “Something…I can’t help thinking he was a human being, though. Like, he’d have grown old and feeble eventually, maybe would have come around, maybe would have been under our thumbs or something somehow.”
   “Yeah,” Dennis nodded. “But how long would you be willing to wait? I mean, did he have to kill somebody before it came to this? He about has. There’s at least one guy who can’t walk again because of him, another guy who’ll never have full range of his arms.”
  “Truth be told,” Ron looked out the bar’s window, “nobody would’ve wanted to see that anyway. Thinking about it now, it was about as much for him as it was for us.”
  “How do you figure that?” Dennis asked.
  “Think he wanted to go out quiet and peaceful? No. This is all about who he was.”
  “Still doesn’t sit right,” Cory mumbled.
  “Don’t say that anymore,” Dennis pointed at Cory. “Never say that again. Okay, no, it doesn’t sit right. And you know what? It won’t. Not ever, not with any of us, so just stop saying it.”
   “Well what should I do?”
  “Just shut the fuck up about it,” Dennis said in a harsh whisper. “Forget about it.”
  “You have to let it go,” Ron said quietly, in an even patient tone. “I know, this hangs over all of us. But we have to move on.”
  “What if somebody comes through asking about him, though?”
  Ron and Dennis looked at each other.
  “Cory, this is BFE man. We’re basically invisible here.”
  “Is this how we’re gonna handle everything, though?”
  “There was nothing the law could do for us, man. No. This, we had to.”
   Cory looked away, then down at his beer.
  “I know what you’re thinking Cory,” Dennis said in a warning tone. “Just don’t say it. And for that matter, best not say anything. Understood?”
  Cory nodded while looking down, and the three men continued drinking in silence.



I decided to watch my hands as I write this. They extinguished. They are young too, but they are dry. They advanced to the ugly and old. It happened in the service of others, so it's painful, but off and that's it. There is no turning back.

We decided to stop to change things, but it was nothing. How can it, when they find out? I would like to have a better story to tell with them ... Something about the victim or to change, but it is not. Not at all. I wonder, if at all. It is as boring as reality.

It has taken centuries of overwhelming. I really do not know how long ... Impression. I did. At least they are a symbol. Can I use my past for them because they have flags. They come with photos.

I do not know why I bother. I am vicious. Impotent. Feel bad word, but is so similar. A friend is the practice of posting and I said OK, what works. But it seems to work. It seems fair to gray. I think this is one fantasy versions of distraction, become the type of abuse then it stops sensory function. You could say perhaps that this is a version of that, but it has its own peculiarities. It's easy to get lost in them.

I know nothing, really, about to dig around there. _in There_ I started, so it is very strange to me. Maybe others are too. I'm confused.


But look at my hands. They are strange and a little order. I do not know what to do with them. We tried to minimize. I have to catch at the right time. Lotion helps, but it is constant and continues to slide. I do not know how to stop them, they feel like my enemy. I do not understand: My tools are my useless techniques, which is new to me. But I mean friends. Well, we must seek reconciliation.

Is, they are conspiring against me (remember, are two of them, and I). Wars are not safe there? What if I loaded all the color and trained on the Swiss referee? Are wrong? They do things behind my back, you know. Itch ... ...

(Not in Switzerland)

I am referring to radical tactics. What happens if I remove? Sounds extreme? Listen: I could give it to someone more appropriate. I have a pale now. I can not wait. I need help. Oh, I have energy for it. I will do it themselves.



You know how you deal with memories that hurt, man? Think back further to the ones that don’t. Inevitably, yeah, that’ll lead you back to more memories that hurt again, so you have to think back past those as well. Just keep thinking back and thinking back until you’ve got cosmic dust particles clinging together to form the big bad world you live in, the big bad world that alternately pumps you up then fucks you up. Actually, since you’re thinking backward, those dust particles are being pulled apart- pulled apart and sucked back into space, and then all of space, the whole big bang, is sucked up into a tiny point. And that tiny point is on the verge, then it isn’t, then it’s gone. And where are you? You’re where you were, so long after the big bang already happened, after dinosaur extinction, after all the births of your grandparents and parents and you and all of your friends and enemies and all of your parents’ and grandparents’ friends and enemies. And all those stinging memories lead you to the present, cuffed in the back of a police cruiser, face red and wet, not even trying to explain anything to the cops because there’s no way you could anyway.


1.) Ouyay owknay owhay you ealday ithway emoriesmay atthay urthay, anmay? Inkthay ackbay urtherfay o-tay the ones atthay on’tday. Evitablyinay, eahyay, at’llthay eadlay ouyay ackbay o-tay oremay emoriesmay atthay urthay ainagay, o-say ouyay avehay o-tay inkthay ackbay astpay osethay say ellway. Ustjay eepkay inkingthay ackbay tilunay ou’veyay otgay osmiccay ustday articlespay ingingclay ogthertay o-tay ormfay the igbay adbay orldway  ouyay ivelay in, the igbay adbay orldway atthay ternatelyalay umpspay ouyyay up and ucksfay ouyay up. Uallyactay, incesay ou’reyay inkingthay ackwardbay, odethay ustday articlespay are eingbay ulledpay artapay- ulledpay artapay and uckedsay ackbay toinay acespay, and enthay all of acespay, the olewhay igbay angbay, say uckedsay puay  toinay a inytay ointpay. And atthay inytay ointpay say on the ergevay, enthay it ntisay, enthat it’s onegay. And erewhay are ouyay? Ou’reyay erewhey ouyay ereway, o-say onglay terafay the igbay angbay readyalay appenedhay, terafay inosaurday tinctionexay, terafay all the irthsbay foay ouryay nadparentsgray and arentspay and ouyay and all foay ouryay riendsfay and miesenay and all foay ouryay  andparents’gray and arents’pay riendsfay and miesenay. And all osethay ingingstay emoriesmay eadlay ouyay o-tay the resentpay, uffedcay in the ackbay foay a olicepay uisercray. Acefay edray and etway, otnay enevay ryingtay o-tay plainexay the opscay ecausebay ere’stahy  o-nay ayway ouyay ouldcay wayanyay.


2.) Ah shit, dawg, you gotta roll wit’ that shit. Get your head back to before shit went all crazy. Bitches ain’t nothin’ but a thing no-how. Then you start thinking all cosmic shit like how you roll wit’ dinosaurs and the big bang and shit. Nawbuffarilldo, jail ain’t nothin’ but a thang, dawg, like bitches.

3.) .... .... .... ..... ..... ..... ..... .... ..... ..... .... ..... ..... .... .... .... .... .... .... ....(it's mime).... ..... ..... .... ..... .... .
4.) Social networking sites are an illness. It’s like every high school after high school, every chapter of your extended adolescence. Fuck'em.  



She puts this in front of me to keep me honest,”so says the one who has all collapse around him.
Patter, patterpatter--A mouse came walking across his desk. Across his desk to his done pile and stood on to legs. Although seated on the chair, the mouse still looked up at Munx. Mouse groomed himself and the rolled up his cuff. “One “arm”then the other. Munx looked down at the Mouse and said, “Are you done?”

And the mouse said, “No, but are you?”

Then Munx says, “I know your name, your voice: it’s late and I have work to do rather, I am not finished yet. “
The mouse said, “I know. You have kept me awake with this thing” And the mouse ran over and kicked Munx’s typewriter. Cringing while the bell rang
And then continued”And that sound."

Munx speaks, "The mouse became "unperched" and ran the forearms length to the typewriter and kicked it hard enough to ring the bell and returned to his spot sleeves still rolled up, but breathing heavy.”
The white shit NOT snow falls from the sky stops



It took me two years. Two years. I'd have the day for you, but I'm not that picky; two years is enough to scream about it. I'd best find a gun or at least something sharp.

Thing is, you know yourself well in advance, to the fact that you damn well won't have any use for it when you get it. What? Doesn't it go that you get angry, look her in the eye, she spontaneously explodes, and then... ... ...? Where'd the knife go? Hmm, sonny? She explodes and suddenly you're in Costa Rica dancing with a moonbeam? Or in the middle of a bridge in God-knows-where? Or... fuck... I dunno. I've no idea... See! I'm me talking to you (also me), and I can't even think this through. Ineffective's the problem. Completely ineffective. You get these ideas in your head and they seem so grand, but they fizzle out like cheap butter... you ought to try harder.


Anyway, the book. That bitch, my book. I should look up. She was there a second ago, screaming. Where'd she go? I'm trying the door but it won't open. Imagine that. I suppose I'll climb the fence, then? You know, I'm not that bothered. I'm busy remembering the one before that. It was about a dragon named knob. Or knobby. Not sure. I figured I needed a push in the deep end and didn't care what way it went. Fix it as you go along, damage control, steer up... Except it was more like a Messerschmitt right toward the ground. 100 feet and approaching... trying to remember my prayers so I can say them... oh what's the use....

Fantasy... ugh... wait, that was the one before, when I was...?... I'd have to be pretty fucking young to take something like that seriously. Was it the one before THAT? It's been four, right? There was the noir wherein he chased that dame who what maybe killed her husband and I was aiming for a faux generic thingy with a big twist in the second part. See, a nice generic turd to ease you in and after that you get dynamic. Start 'changing the game' and so on. Except, our hero was a little too clever and figured it all out by the third chapter. I really stretched them out, too, you know.
I tried looking to The Orient after that, you know. Hit upon some arcane mixture of never before combined combinations in my deviousness. I jumped into the Bhagavad Gita AND looked into some old samurai tales (Shang dynasty? Sheeyang?). I even took up a Tao stage! Though, that lasted just slightly less than that second samurai story. Something about a fat jap who spent 20 pages cramming his hole with rice-cakes and talking about nature. The sooner he'd go and shit in the woods, the sooner we could get back to scheduled programming i.e. samurais, honour, that sort of thing. If a fat chinaman shits in the wood, does anyone really finish the book? Ask yourself that...


Oh, I really wish she hadn't put it through the woodchipper. Look at it. All this pale history. It's like the ghost of dalliance past. You know, when we ordered this thing I couldn't stop imagining what I'd put in there. I dug out the old basketballs and shoes from the basement and saved them by the door. One a day. I even snuck one of her old handbags. She never used it. Gave me much pleasure. I'd stretch out my breakfast routine, just to pace the excitement, and on weekends I'd have a field day. My own personal holiday. Except, of course, the days after the nights I'd have those dreams. The awful, awful, awful ones where I'd stand for days in front of it, beckoning me, book in hand, afraid some invisible wind would come and knock it away ---> straight forward into the jaws. Bastard. Absolute bastard. In the worst ones I'd manage to get away; somehow find myself a house or two over, safe and sound, but then I'd blink (once) and I'd be back there, a foot closer, beckoning... Me before it! Me before it! Bastard.

...

...


American Sissy

....


Hey, that's not bad. I should use that... "American, Sissy"...
It "flows" quite well, actually. Say, a man is disillusioned with society, this modern one, alienated, cornered, trying to free himself from capitalism, trying to find a way. Out from under the beast. Trying to survive. Maybe... maybe. Out from under the beast!!

I should get rid of the woodchipper first, though. I can't work with it out here.

Bastard.

Actually, it was particularly bad the past few nights. We left the curtains open for the breeze and I could see the moonlight glinting off it from my side of the bed. She looked at me like I was a fool when I asked her to switch sides. Told me not to wake her again "or else". Twat. I did wake up, though. What would you expect? It was taunting me, out there, in the cruele night. Fiend. I ended up pacing the floor at 4am. Too wound up. I tried to psychoanalyze myself and stood in the kitchen in my underwear, ate a schnitzel. That made me laugh, actually; peculiar. I woke her up to tell her. She wouldn't budge the first while, so I accidentally poked her a few times, elbowed her as I turned over from where I was sitting on the bed. It cheered me up to no end, though she didn't seem to "get it". The fool...



And so: The virgin’s sinewy golden frame was stretched taut over the grey stone alter. Her wrists and ankles bound in gold cuffs attached to leather chains pegged into the alter’s sides. A line was drawn with indigo ink above her heaving chest- her tan orbs like generous scoops of coffee flavored ice cream topped with chocolate cherries- from armpit to armpit.
   The priest donned his ceremonial headgear- the head of a gold-plated badger- and stood above the quivering virgin.
  “Fear not, young virgin,” the priest told the girl chained to the alter. “You exist for a higher purpose than any that could be bestowed upon you here.”
   It was true, the girl bore a full, healthy mane of dark hair and skin that seemed sculpted of polished bronze.
   Adhering to the inky blue guideline, the henchman swung the axe.

  White flakes had been descending down for days, though it was the thick of summer, and the temperatures remained hot.
   However, while temperatures around the jungle were usually humid, this summer was exceptionally dry. The usually lush vegetation was growing brown, wilted.
   The village medicine man was summoned. He’d determined a drought was due, because the harvest god contracted dandruff.



I remember thinking it was unusually cold for May. I also remember thinking that I might not collect on Little John and Georgie’s tabs. Little John was into me for a pack of squares and Georgie was into me for five bucks for a tube of biscuits and a tall boy of beer. Silly that that’s what I was thinking.
I suppose if my leg actually hurt, that’d be on my mind but it didn’t hurt. It would start hurting soon, though, when my nervous system kicked into gear and the epinephrine levels returned to normal and I could be angry that I’d never walk again, not without a prosthetic.
My body. Irreparably damaged.
“Hal?” I heard Cole from my left, “You sure pulled this one off, Hal. Jesus.”
Cole. Fucking Cole. I remember telling Cole, “Shut up and find my leg.”
“Your leg?”
“Cole?” I was staring up at the sky, watching the flakes, shimmering in the light with cloudy, soft glimmers coming off of them like pearls, waft toward us, “I think my leg is gone, Cole.”
“Bullshit, Hal, your leg aint - Oh, shit.” He must have gotten up; I could hear him coming toward me.
“How bad is it, Cole?”
“It’s gone!”
I hacked something and asked, “Above or below the knee?”
Cole answered. I just didn’t hear him. I just lay there, staring up at the sky, and occasionally hacking a cough that moved my chest and hurt my throat. I then became aware of pressure on my thigh. “What’s that?”
“Closing the pod-bay doors, Hal. Putting a tourniquet on you.”
I just closed my eyes and said, “Good,” thinking that I might have gone to sleep at that moment; I’d probably lost a good deal of blood. I had to fight off sleep; I opened my eyes again to the dancing white flakes in the sky. Soon enough, gravity would have them and they’d be down here, on the ground, decorating us. Covering us.
I tried to keep my eyes open while my leg throbbed, I reached down to Cole’s shoulder, grabbed it and told him, “Gimme a smoke, Cole.”
“Gimme a minute, Hal,” and he finished tying off my leg - well, my stump, now. I could hear him moving about before he said, “Here.”
I reached out and took the smoke from his hand, ever looking up at those pearly flakes dancing and said, “I think I left my light in - in… Where the fuck did I leave my light?” and then I saw the orange flame erupt around a blue heart under my nose and began sucking through the cigarette deeply.
“You’re going to make it, Hal.”
I heard some rustling and Cole was sitting up over me, then, on a box it looked like. I told him I needed a beer.
“We’ll get you a beer when we get back. Some painkillers. Some pussy, too, don’t worry about it.” His face was blackened by dirt and soot, ash in his hair. He lit his own smoke, making a fish-face to suck on the square, and surveyed the damage. He said, “Look at the way they all dance up there,” pointing out across the sky, “You seeing this shit, Hal?”
“Yeah, yeah, I see it.” Against the smoke and storm clouds, they almost seemed to form constellations. I saw the patterns they made - No. I made them into patterns. I made the beer steins down at the Sturm und Drang Lounge. I made Angela’s naked body. I made Johnny Ramone’s guitar. Each one of them, I held for the split second they existed before they all danced apart, off to find new dance partners, new dances, different time signatures, different melodies. I asked, “Do you see my leg anywhere?” before another chest-heaving cough forced my eyes shut again.
“Lemme finish this smoke and I’ll see if it’s near, OK?” Cole’s way of saying to forget it; it’s gone. Probably blown what? fifty? a hundred yards away? “You really did it, man, I gotta tell you.” His dirty paw placed the cigarette back to his lips and he inhaled deeply before blowing out the plume of smoke. My pearls in the sky seemed repelled by the smoke even though they were probably a quarter mile up.
I found it in myself to sit up, if only just to look down at my leg. My stump, I mean. Cole saw me trying to get up and said, “Just stay down.”
I sat up and looked down, finally down, and saw the shreds of flesh below my knee and the tourniquet just above it. My knee I mean. It was an awful sight and it was then that I realized that Cole might have been right all along: No use looking for the other half of my leg. Probably disintegrated. Cole reached around to his back and grabbed his canteen. He uncapped it, took a swig, and handed it to me. “Water?”
Cole. Fucking Cole. I remember telling Cole, “Shut up and find my leg.”
“You OK?”
“I’m fine. I just - ” I looked behind me and then back to Cole and took the canteen, “I just need to lay down.” I took five long gulps off the canteen and handed it back before I laid back down and watched the dancing pearls in the sky. They seemed to be coming closer.

Tannhauser Gate
May 2nd, 2417

I open my journal and scratch at my shin only to feel the prosthetic under my fingers. Ghost itch. I tap my pen to my temple and wonder, “What to explain to my son today?” I haven’t long for this world and the doctor says it’ll be a wonder if I even see the kid born. So now I’ve got to write this thing. Tell him who I am. I may as well get around to it and finally explain how I got sick in the first place. Years ago. At the Tannhauser Gate.





Clayton looked down at the hot pink bunny in Mark’s grip. It looked so goofy and innocent all of the sudden, with its dumb googly eyes and buck teeth. It looked like it would hop to its doom with the same idiotic expression on its face, oblivious that things like death are supposed to be bad, and that things like fire are supposed to hurt. Part of him wanted to grab the bunny from Mark’s arms and run off, but he knew that would make him just as weird as Terry. No girls at his school would talk to him then.
   “So,” Clayton asked. “Why Moony?”
   “Moony’s already kind of bad,” Terry said.
   “Bad how?”
   “Dad threw him once, when he was mad.”
   “Your dad was mad at Moony?”
   “No, but Moony was there when Dad yelled to pick this crap up, and he threw Moony at me.”
   “So, it’s Moony’s fault your room or whatever was messy?”
   “A little bit, just because there’s too much stuff, and if Dad gets mad and throws something I know that’s what should get used.”
   Clayton looked down at Moony again. Poor Moony, Clayton thought. He knew it was a ridiculous thing to think, but it’s not like he was talking to his classmates or friends or anything. Plus, he couldn’t really help it, he just all of the sudden felt sorry for the poor dumb stuffed bunny.
   “So,” Clayton asked, “when do we begin executing these ghosts?”
   “We have to wait until it gets dark,” Mark said, nodding.
   “Mark, Aunt Sarah really lets you hang out here burning stuff until it gets dark?”
   “Ummm,” Mark tried to evade. “Yeah.”
   “So, if I told her we were all out in the woods setting fire to dollies and crap she’d be okay with it?”
   Mark didn’t answer and Clayton put his hands on his hips and grinned.
   “You’re not gonna tell her about the burning are you?” Mark whined. “You already swore you’d keep this a secret.”
   “Just, you get to stay out this late?”
   “She knows I’m with Terry.”
   Clayton’s mom read him the riot act if he came home at sunset, so this was super unfair. Still, he’d promised. Even if these were just a couple of dorks, he knew he couldn’t go back on that.
   “You’re not gonna tell are you?” Mark asked again.
   “No, don’t worry geek, I won’t tell. But I think you owe me.”
   “What do you want?”
   “I don’t know yet, I’ll think of something later.” Clayton watched as that sank in. Mark’s face became unsettled.
   “Already promised,” Mark mumbled, and Clayton grinned to himself.
“You did,” Terry said, looking Clayton in the eye all crazy. Clayton almost laughed out loud again. Jeez, pipe down, little demon-boy. “In fact you swore, you swore you wouldn’t.”
   “Okay man.” If Clayton had to accompany these two freaks, he could at least push a couple of geek buttons. “Calm down, I already said I won’t tell.”
   “Do you know what happens if you tell?” Terry asked.
   “I go to hell, because I swore.”
   “Yeah, but before that my brother will find you. When he does, you’re dead.”
   Clayton didn’t know Bobby. He’d seen Bobby’s picture in the Ervin yearbook from a couple of years ago, though, and in a couple of random hallway photos. He was super-skinny, with greasy hair that stuck up in back and really uncool, wire-framed dad-type glasses that were too large and a little crooked on his face.
   
   “I said I won’t tell anybody.”
    Bobby Jensen didn’t seem like too much of a threat, except he wore army jackets to school, read gun and weapon catalogues and carried, like, throwing stars and nun-chucks in his backpack. Plus there was whatever he got kicked out of school for. Besides, Clayton realized that telling anybody meant admitting he hung around with his little cousin, and his little cousin’s weird little friend with the psycho older brother.
   “So,” Clayton asked. “Your brother brought other people down here?”
   “Yeah, he’d bring some of his friends from the junior high.”
   “Who’d he show this too?” Clayton was genuinely curious. It might be something he could talk about with older kids at Hickman, when he went.
  “I usually wasn’t allowed to go when they went. I went with him and Steve Leery and Dave Murphy a couple of times.”
   Ah, Clayton thought. That makes sense. Those two were known stoners, weirdos, there were rumors of animal torture.
  “Steve and Dave both tried to get me to smoke, but I couldn’t stop coughing. He came here with Jessica Crenshaw a couple of times, but he made me go home once we got to the woods.”
   So, Clayton thought. The plot thickens. This could be a good reason to strike up a conversation with Amanda, Jessica’s sister, who was in his English class. She had bobbed dark hair, wore dark eye make-up around her eyes like a raccoon and Cure t-shirts. Clayton had been looking for an excuse to talk to her. She was weird but she was cute, a lot of guys thought so.
   It started getting a little darker and fireflies orbited the three boys and their ghost catcher.
   I’m quitting here, for word count.




He walked downstairs from his study and spoke to the class in low honeyed tones. After waiting for many hours he was calm and relaxed. A true story was coming out of him. He needs only seconds to compose himself anymore

The following idea occurred to me while working in yet another warehouse situation. The dilemma presented itself as a simple production problem A series of events where oil from metal could not mix with clean water. The water was in a sink that we call the Lovely Faces of Debt sink. The other sink we will call the Metal sink.
This was not an actual dilemma. But while trying to fix the problem with hot water, things got worse for me and the simple answer was allowing time to pass and deal with it later.
The dilemma presented itself as I considered old information, new information, and old technology, new technology at a rapid pass. Add to that the distance and time it took to walk to the sinks and cut the material we were attempting to process for further production of the material.
My actions speak for who I am today a man whose life has become his work. His life’s work; Work has become life. Add to this that I only took one hit of acid while reading aloud the work of Bukowski as per my favorite friend who was a poet at the time.

She was a childhood friend who was dating a good friend of mine. She and Wild Man lived in the front room. She helped me find my voice reading the story CB wrote about Jesus coming back to the earth to help his favorite baseball team. As I read I discovered a natural unstressed real speaker who took each word serious-like. And then the acid took hold and the words became cities I had to conquer and the periods became obstacles that I could not miss. And when Bukowski hit the end of his story I made an effort to avoid laughter. This experience haunts me to this day. I do wish it gone, but I am glad that this childhood friend and I had this experience.
Good night.. Be right back.

Sorry I was rambling so.

What I really wanted to tell you was that she was the prettiest girl in town at the time a bit young but that never bothered me. Getting a handle of what the next generation thought was always important. She sat with my bud Stewart and talked about Clikatat I bought that album asap and we planned a benefit for the homeless.
Her name was Techno-Lauren. The girl was so emo she was Techno! My only experience with techno music was figuring out the Dunt-dunt-duntdnt/duntduntduntdun on the keyboard at the local music library.
I DIGRESS!!!

We planned the event and I was gonna do sound, but I was so broke that all I could do was show up and represent the rockers. Then the drunk punks ruined it by having the show cancelled. Other bands have other memories. Mine are just as good cause I was there was Apparatus Engine who brought Army of Ponch (Fla) to the Philadelphia area.

The Cancer Conspiracy and so many other bands from that time frame. A highlight for me was Technician who not only was gracious enough to talk to me at Bert’s in DE and sit at table and greet other like-minded geeks like myself. I was the one who suggested the nametags. TechnolL jumped at this idea. I threw out her busty picture after she met a boy who she had cars in common. Ain’t seen her since.

Sorry I was rambling so.

The other part of this story is the instructions I hope this meets the word count. Yeah this didn’t happen either.”



The following true story is from the bullshit file: This list is pulled from the file
1. Move it like an old lady.
2. Boxes of Turkey bacon say . . .Gobble!!!
3. Metal flowers have petals.
4. Eat the Empire-size serving.
Toku-te' you're up. Read your story.
Okay, boss.
Come on Tuku get a move on there is clapping going on at this point.
Aw, boss come on you need to relax. What you eat?
Nothing.
Well here have a bread sandwich!
Two pieces of bread that's all you get.
Two pieces of bread and you get to decide what's on the inside. What you get?
Egg salad!
You don't sound happy. You heard the rules right. That there sandwich can be any thing you want it to be. So what do you have?
It's egg salad. No celery this time but it's definitely an egg salad sandwich. So what you get, Tuku. ?
Olive loaf, turkey ham and processed cheese!
Dammit! Tell your story.
There weren't two nights back in 1977 that I could string together even a half of a good nights sleep. And then who-the-hell/ what's-his-name would stop around to my place for a visit. He is the guy would scream the worst string of obscenities at me and accuse me of murder, arson, treason, and theft. I'd walk out of a drug store and he'd be standing there.



Fourth deployment to Tangier, again posing as Dorridge’s personal attachée. Dorridge, she had decided on her last deployment, was a boar but not without his charm. Maybe it was the English accent. Maybe it was that he kept a professional distance; she’d had to remind most male co-workers (and even one of the dyke ones) to keep back. Dorridge however - 
“Good lord, dear, you really must find something else to do with that hair. I can’t tell if you’re going for Eva von Berne or Eva Marie Saint.”
“I wouldn’t know either of those women, Herr Doktor.”
“I wouldn’t expect you to.” Dorridge laughed.
He had a PhD in structural engineering, that was where Doctor came from. That and she never asked his first name. In a few hours they would attend a luncheon with the Moroccan diplomat Abdelkader in Ksar es-Seghir a half hour away to discuss, again, the strait-spanning bridge proposal from Ksar es-Seghir to Tarifa, Spain, a major shipping and ferry hub. This, somehow, Marijke was told, was going to be a part of a larger operation to secure Ceuta and Melilla as Spanish Territories once and for all and, on a grander scale, to return Gibraltar to Spain from England. The operation would begin with a simple bridge and take the next half century to come to fruition.
Marijke didn’t understand how it was supposed to pose an influence in that maneuver as not even Dorridge did. Dorridge, in fact, had said on their first deployment, “I bloody well don’t know how they intend to work that miracle. I’d have thought they’d have us speak to the Spaniards first.
“I suppose, however,” he’d continued, “that they have this worked out the way they like it.”
Marijke had nodded. She was still studying English at the time. Her time with Dorridge, along with healthy doses of American cinema, had proved instrumental in furthering her understanding of the language. Dorridge spoke plainly and clearly, if not adorning his language with “bloody” and “damnable” too much; American cinema featured dialects easier to understand than the British cinema which required Marijke to turn on the subtitles.
Marijke also preferred American slang to British but she still swore in her Belgian-German dialect.
She had been one of the fastest excelling students in her English classes and even bypassed a few levels. Now she had conversations with Dorridge and only occasionally needed him to clarify some turns of phrase and figures of speech now and again.
“Is for you my hair a problem, Herr Doktor?”
“No no, my dear girl, your hair is fine.” He sipped his white wine - it was a habit of his to drink wine between breakfast and lunch - and got up from his chair, crossing to Marijke to grab his cigarettes off the table where she was recollating files then, admiringly, said, “In fact, it’s quite lovely.” Turning back to his chair and his wine, “A bit matronly for a woman of your age.” Reclining again, “Is everything in order?”
“Almost, Herr Doktor.”
“Not that.”
Marijke remembered. The Walther P99. It had been secured in the suite by the Planters prior to their arrival. “Ja.”
“English inflection, please, dear Marie.”
She occasionally slipped into German; Dorridge, upon discovering her efforts in English, volunteered to help push her. Sometimes, she resented it. “Yeah,” and “ja” were the same damnable thing at the end of the day, weren’t they? She could have shot him in the knees but instead sighed and said, “Yeah.”
“One day, you’ll teach me German, Marie,” she hated when he called her Marie, “but, for now, we need to improve your English rapidly.”
“My English is fine, I think. I talk with you continuously - ”
“‘Constantly’ is the word you want.”
“‘Constantly’, then. I talk with you constantly when we work with each other.”
“Yes, you do,” Dorridge took a sip, “and you do damnably well. However, you are not quite perfect. I imagine one day you will take speech courses to master the accent.”
“Which accent?” she asked, leaning on one of the dining room chairs and screwing up her face into a look.
“Perhaps,” Dorridge replied, “a proper London one.”
Marijke paused. “Cockney?”
“Oh, no!” Dorridge scoffed. “Dreadful. No. No. I understand your confusion, though. I mean something altogether different.”
Marijke cocked an eyebrow. “Like you, then?”
“Yes.”
“So as to speak as an esel.”
“And, pray dear, what is an ‘esel’?”
“It means ‘Londoner’,” Marijke smiled.

In the car, Dorridge asked Marijke, “Did I ever tell you about the time I was sent to the Himalayas?”
Marijke responded, “No.” She had nearly said “nein”. Whether it would’ve been in English or German, it would’ve been a lie.
“Had a dreadful time. I was deployed with another structural engineer, A Yank by the name of Dr. Peter Henry. Good man, bloody marvelous, really. Not much for conversation, though. You remind me of him in that respect.”
“Does it bother you that I am not for conversation?”
“My dear, three times we have been deployed together and three times you’ve been a mute in front of Abdelkader. You don’t have to chat him up but for god’s sake, woman, you don’t have to be Oddjob.”
“Doktor?”
“Oddjob. The fat, shovel-head fellow with the razor-hat.”
“I don’t follow.”
“The fat Korean man? Bad guy? Never talked?”
“I don’t know who he is, Herr Doktor.”
“Dear girl, you bloody well can’t expect me to believe that you’re not familiar with one of the most popular Bond villains.”
“James Bond?”
“Yes.”
“No.”
Dorridge shook his head and stared out the window.

Abdelkader and his attaché met Dorridge and Marijke a ways off the N16 at the agreed meeting place. Though the Al Ghouroub was nearby (in fact, one had to turn off road at the Al Ghouroub to arrive at the meeting place), Abdelkader preferred open-air lunches and had a patio set, replete with umbrella, set up closer to the coast. He stood to greet his guests and, in a colonial accent, announced to no one but himself, “Doctor Dorridge.”
“Sayyid Abdelkader,” came the reply.
“Please sit, sit. Would you care for a drink?”
“Bourbon, please.”
Marijke interjected, “Herr Doktor?”
Looking up, Dorridge replied, “Yes, my dear girl?”
So as not to embarrass Dorridge publicly, Marijke switched to German, knowing Abdelkader didn’t speak it but Dorridge would pick it up easily enough, “Du trank eine halbe flasche wein an diesem morgen.”
“Dear wom - ” and Dorridge stopped. He couldn’t make out half of anything she said but understood that she had switched to chide him and save him face. “Ah, yes yes. Right. Make that a small bourbon, please, Abdelkader.”
“Keeping secrets is integral to diplomacy, Doctor, but I’ve never had a secret told in front of me.”
“Hmm? Oh, that. Marie occasionally slips into German.” Then to Marijke, “Please dear, do sit.”
Abdelkader, suspicious, asked, “And what, if you’d be so good to share with me Doctor, did she say?”
Dorridge wasted no time in concocting his story, “She reminded me about a new antihistamine I’ve been taking. Alcohol interaction and so forth.” He couldn’t have Abdelkader thinking he was a drunk, especially not when trying to propose a bridge that was to span the Strait of Gibraltar.
As bowls of taktouka - Abdelkader selected it anticipating the limited and boarish palette of his two English guests - were set in front of them, Abdelkader began to question briefly Marie’s nationality. “She speaks German, then?”
Marijke interjected, “أنا دراسة اللغة العربية، أيضا.”
Dorridge was stunned, “Dear girl, what was that?”
Abdelkader chuckled, “She says she studies Arabic as well.” With drinks in front of them now, Abdelkader continued, “You have a smart girl here.” Dorridge felt sweat bead on his brow. Abdelkader could take a jab at them right here and now. Their cover would be blown. And then so much for a trip to Tarifa.
Marijke smiled warmly at Dorridge and then to Abdelkader, “He is smart to have chosen me.”
“Shit!” Dorridge thought. She spoke English, true, but she still had that damnable Belgian accent. Perhaps Abdelkader wouldn’t - 
“What part of England are you from, Marie?”
“Shit!” exploded and looped itself in Dorridge’s internal monologue.
“Sedbury. In Gloucestershire on the Welsh border. Across the river from Chepstow even.” What the hell? “So perhaps you hear a hint of Welsh in my accent. I get that a lot.” Marijke smiled again at Dorridge and then said to Abdelkader, “I imagine you have more pressing matters to tend to than where I’m from.”
Abdelkader nodded and looked at Dorridge who, it seemed to him, suddenly looked fatigued. “Certainly.” Sitting forward in his chair, “Now, about this bridge, Doctor Dorridge, I have thought long about it since your last visit. I understand your proposal that it will bring new employment opportunities to Ksar es-Seghir for the construction of the bridge but what happens after the bridge is built? What will the builders do when there is nothing to build? And then shipping across the strait can now be done by truck; what will happen to the ports of Ksar es-Seghir? And Tanger-Med, for that matter?”
“Sayyid Abdelkader, please. That’s damnably pessimistic. Consider shipping to, say, Italy. Sure, shipping by truck across the strait will be cheaper but it will take twice as long as shipping by boat. Nevermind that the ships will still have the Balearic Islands. The ports will not only stay open but they’ll flourish.”
“I think you think the Balearic Islands are more important to us than they really are, Doctor.”
Sayyid Abdelkader, believe me - Marie?” Marijke opened the brief case. “A project of this scope? Ksar es-Seghir could absorb Tanger-Med; could be another Tangier.”
Abdelkader laughed. “There’s something wrong with the Tangier we already have?”
Dorridge took a folder from Marijke and opened it in front of Abdelkader, “Look at these projections. This bridge won’t wash Ksar es-Seghir into the strait. So maybe ‘another Tangier’ is a bit lofty but you can’t deny that this kind of urban development, shipping development, would look awfully promising to the Tanger-Med. A road from Morocco to Spain? And Ksar es-Seghir has it!? All of a sudden, Ksar es-Seghir expands, Tanger-Med expands to meet it… The two merge and you have another super metropolis. Say ‘goodbye’ to your developing country status.”
“You certainly are an optimist, Doctor.”
“A lofty goal, sure. But five major metropolises - Casablanca, Rabat, Fes, Marrakech, Tangier - and a multi-port super structure - Ksar es-Seghir Tanger-Med - along the northern coast? Why should that be outside the realm of possibility?”
Abdelkader leaned back. “And if your proposal… It’s not my approval you need. You need the approval of the Moroccan people. I can’t just go back to Rabat and say, ‘This English bridge builder convinced me!’ I’ll get laughed out into the street.
“Further, this is the fourth time we’ve met - ”
“Third time.”
“What?”
“Third time. The first time Marie and I visited, we were not granted audience.”
Abdelkader stood corrected. “Very well, this is the third time we’ve met and yet I still can’t figure out what you stand to gain from this. All the work is to be done by Moroccan people to benefit Morocco and Spain together. What does an Englishman stand to gain?”
“The revenue from when you buy half the materials from his country.”
Abdelkader roared a hardy laugh. “That is rich, Doctor! Half the materials!”
Dorridge calmly confirmed, “Half the materials.”
“And where, good Doctor, will the other half come from?”
“Spain. When they buy the other half.”
Abdelkader dabbed a tear from the corner of his eye.
Dorridge continued, “You buy half the materials, you get all the labor. That kind of an opportunity for economic growth? If you don’t want to take that to Rabat…”
Abdelkader threw up a hand and stopped Dorridge short, “No need to get to hyperbolic, Doctor. There’s been quite enough of that, already. I must excuse myself momentarily.” With that, Abdelkader nodded to the two of them and began walking toward the Al Ghouroub.
Dorridge turned to Marijke, “What the bloody hell was that about Sedbury? How do you even know where - Your accent isn’t the least damnable bit Welsh!”
“I was counting on him not knowing that. It was a gamble. It paid off.”
“Well, apparently he doesn’t because you don’t sound bloody Welsh. What made you pick Welsh, anyway? Is it the ‘el’ sound? The ‘el’ in ‘Welsh’ kind of being like ‘Belgian’?”
“He asked what part of England I was from! What was I to say!? Brussels, England!? Christus, du bist ein blödian.”
“Oh and that! What in creation had you speaking bloody German!?”
“I wanted not to embarrass you by announcing to Abdelkader that you’d already drank a half bottle of wine this morning!”
“You can be discreet and still speak English, you know; you’re not a bloody fool. What the hell did you even say?”
“I reminded you that you drank a half bottle of wine this morning. You’re not a ‘bloody fool’, either. In fact, you are fucking doctor, last I was told!”
Dorridge took a deep breath, then, “OK OK. Calm down, your accent is coming out harder now.”
“And you’re the one who told me to talk.”
“Right, you’re right. Sorry.” He looked at Marijke now and thought for a moment. “And where in bloody hell did you learn Arabic?”
“I know only the one phrase. I took another gamble.”
“Well, stop gambling, my dear, you’ll give me a heart attack. And my old heart can’t take as much as it used to.”
“Fine.”
There was a short silence in the air before Dorridge asked, “What was that last thing you said? In German, I mean.”
“Christ, that’ll sink before it floats.”
Dorridge cocked an eyebrow and nodded.

“Has he gone and fucking died?” Dorridge blurted out after five minutes.
“Was?”
“Abdelkader. Has he - ? English, my dear girl.” Dorridge sighed, then went on, “If that Moroccan bastard is trying to stick me with the bill…” Looking at Marijke, “I suppose going to Tarifa wouldn’t be bad, would it? Maybe we can just shoot across the border to Ceuta.”
“Will it make a large difference?”
“What?”
“If Spain takes the labor. Will Tarifa expand the same way you promise Ksar es-Seghir will.”
“No, doubtful. This town has strived to remain relevant throughout the ages, always serving a different purpose. Tarifa thrives on its history, like a bloody museum piece.”
Marijke pondered that and itched at her jaw before saying, “If the labor goes to Spain, there is no benefit for the Moroccans. Maybe if you explain it like that.”
“Like what?”
“That the Moroccans will buy half the materials for a bridge, undergo no economic growth with the labor going to Spain, and lose any leverage they have in claiming Ceuta or Melilla.”
“Absolutely not. Bringing Ceuta and Melilla into the conversation will paint this whole operation as a threat. Morocco has been looking to annex those cities for ages and if they think a roadway into their country will cost them leverage in the argument, they’ll walk away from any proposal we put on the table. Hell, we could tell them that Spain would buy the materials and pay the Moroccan workers and they’d still walk away.”
Marijke bit her nail, “Abdelkader isn’t on the fence about this, Herr Doktor. We need something much grander to convince him. Economic growth doesn’t impress him, will threats scare him? Will bribes sway him?”
“My dear girl, suggestions like those are why I’m the diplomat and you’re the attachée.”
Marijke sat up right and stared hard at Dorridge, “That is very rude from you, Doctor Dorridge. You’ve all but exhausted your inflated promises to Abdelkader so, again, if promises don’t sway him, what will?”
Dorridge sat shocked at Marijke’s suggestion. Calmly he said, “I trust your judgment and I know you’re not prone to foolish actions but for the foreseeable future, the next ten or twenty minutes in particular, I’d like very much if you remanded possession of your firearm to me.”
Marijke said coldly, “Herr Doktor, suggestions like that are why you’re the diplomat and I’m the one with extensive combat training.”
Dorridge had plainly forgotten that she wasn’t really his attachée, over the course of their four deployments together, that’s all she ever needed to act as and, therefore, essentially became one. But her real job title was that of Independent Subcontractor, someone who could be anyone as needed. Under the umbrella of “anyone” was included the title “trained killer”. For her proficiency with knives alone, she had earned the title Der Schlächter von Brüssel.
Her skill with firearms was not to be underestimated either. Chances were that she could take down Abdelkader at the doors of the Al Ghouroub from where she sat with no more than two shots from the P99 and she could do it left handed, too. If she were any better, she could do it around Dorridge with his head blocking her line of sight.
And here she was, calling his drivers, collating his files, lugging around his brief case, and chiding him for drinking on the clock. All in all, she was a better attachée than Dorridge was a diplomat.
Dorridge was, after all, a structural engineer. He drafted things, designed things. He knew nothing of foreign policy. They had assigned him to this project because he could design a bridge. They had overlooked that he couldn’t sell one, though.
The bridge builder and the assassin sat together at the patio set, staring at the strait, pondering their strategy while their taktouka went untouched.
Dorridge the Bridge Builder, not Dorridge the Diplomat, was thinking now. Better him, the logical one, being in charge from here on out as opposed to the other one, the one who was bossing her around for the last three deployments. However, did that mean that Marijke Der Schlächter von Brüssel was sitting next to him instead of Marijke the Attachée?
Abdelkader’s own attaché approached the patio set, addressing Dorridge, “Sayyid Abdelkader regrets to inform you that he will not be joining you for the rest of the meal nor will he consider taking your offer to Rabat. However, he wishes for me to assure you that the meal and the drinks have been paid for with gratuity on his personal account. Good day, Doctor Dorridge.” With that he grave a brief nod and turned away.
Marijke could see that Dorridge was about to stand up and blurt out, “What in bloody do you mean so on an so forth and whatnot whatever,” so she clasped a hand to his shoulder (digging in her nails, Dorridge got the message to shut up) and said to him, just loud enough, she hoped, that Abdelkader’s attaché would hear, “Well, Doctor Dorridge, shall we take the offer to Tarifa as you proposed?”
Dorridge smiled and said, hoping to catch the back of the attaché’s ear, “Yes, Marie, I think we shall. Heaven knows they could prosper from this just as well.”
Marijke filled in some gaps: “Getares expressed interest, too; they might try to build an intercontinental super bridge on the strait to their own Benzú in Ceuta, bypass Morocco altogether. Then they would have their own bridge with which they could do whatever they wanted. Even do away with tolls.”
“Do away with tolls” was Marijke’s way of making sure the “fuck you” got directly to Abdelkader. If the Moroccan government bought the Ceuta thing, they were bound to consider exorbitant customs duties on anything coming in from Ceuta or trying to leave through it in an effort to encourage use of Tanger-Med. The toll-free super bridge with customs duties would put Tanger-Med out of business, not to mention the PR nightmare: The bridge is free thanks to Spain, it’s the border that’s expensive thanks to Morocco.
The earlier bit, “their own Benzú in Ceuta”, was just salting the wound.

In the hotel suite in Ceuta, Marijke had awakened early. Crossing the Moroccan-Spanish border had proved needlessly (as far as she was concerned) difficult. First, she and Dorridge had to return to their hotel suite in Tangier not only to grab their luggage, but so that Marijke could replant the P99. She then used her secure line to call the Warehouser in Algeciras and have another planted in the suite in Ceuta that Dorridge was reserving. This meant that for the hour from the suite in Tangier to the suite in Ceuta, Marijke was going to be unarmed. If Abdelkader was a malicious man, being unarmed on the N16 could be disastrous.
Abdelkader was malicious, as it turned out, just not the way Marijke anticipated or was used to. Upon arriving at the border, Marijke and Dorridge were questioned just enough as to not turn into harassment. What tipped Marijke off that Abdelkader had involved himself somehow was that she had to repeat her tale of growing up in Sedbury, her accent not being a matter that border patrol had to involve themselves with.
They held the IDs, faked, longer than necessary and it took what Marijke thought was an animated verbal protest that Dorridge claimed was an only slightly-heated plea for sensibility from Dorridge to keep them from literally tearing the car to parts after the search turned up nothing. In the end, it was that the IDs, being of superior quality (and with no small help from the local Lineman directing telecom traffic), checked out that prevented a full cannibalization of the car.
It was now, with coffee with frothy sweet cream and fine Spanish marmalade on whole grain toast on the table between her and a new P99, that she thought that, whether Dorridge liked it or not, if she saw Abdelkader again, she would take a few of his toes. There wouldn’t be much of an opportunity, though; Marijke and Dorridge would be leaving by ferry for Algeciras that afternoon.
It was now just a matter of when Dorridge would wake.
Briefly, Marijke thought she saw a shiny black sedan flying the red flag with the green pentangle of Morocco. A diplomat’s automobile.
No. Couldn’t have been.
Shit.
Marijke shook her head and stubbed out her cigarette, reaching over her toast to grab the gun. She shook her head again as she slipped the butter knife into the band of her hosiery not because all that was handy was a butter knife but because, if Abdelkader was enough of an asshole to come to Ceuta, breakfast was going to get cold. She kicked off her shoes and headed to the balcony. She had encouraged Dorridge to request a front facing room so, if need be, she could keep and eye on the parking lot.
Looking down six flights, Marijke saw clearly the flag of Morocco on a shiny black sedan. And the diplomat, Abdelkader, stepping out with the skinny, bespectacled attaché. Him, the attaché, Marijke thought was cute at least. She also thought he was an arschloch. She hated when attractive men were arschlöcher, really.
No time to mind that. She flitted to Dorridge’s room and knocked on the door. Knocked again. “Herr Doktor!”
From through the door, Dorridge groaned, “What in bloody hell is the matter!?”
“Abdelkader is in the lobby!”
A groan from inside.
“Herr Doktor?”
“Hold on.” In another moment, Dorridge was at the door in his wine red satin robe (with the green pentangle on the back, a gift from Abdelkader upon their second visit) and rubbing sleep out of his eyes, “Good, I was hoping he would come around, let me get dressed.” With that Dorridge turned back to the bed.
“‘Gut’!? Herr Doktor, hast du vergessen unsere probleme an der grenze?”
“For Christ’s sake, woman, speak English.”
Marijke was getting anxious. She took a breath and remembered to speak in Dorridge’s tongue. “I asked if you’d forgotten our trouble at the border. That was Abdelkader’s doing, after all.”
“Well, we can’t prove that, now can we? And even if he did - like I said, he’s come around.”
“Of course he’s come around! He’s in the lobby!”
“No no no, my dear girl, he’s come arou - it means he’s changed his mind. Did you think he was here to cause trouble?”
“I still think he’s here to cause trouble.”
Dorridge sat on the bed. “He’s not going to cause trouble. First of all, he’s a desk pilot. Sure sure, he can say what he wants about having powerful friends but that’s in Morocco. We’re in Spain. That’s number two: We’re in Spain. He can’t do a damnable harmful thing to us here except talk us to death. Now, put your shoes on and let me get dressed, dear girl.” With that Marijke turned to leave. In two beats, Dorridge called after her, “And put that bloody pistol away!”
The phone rang as Marijke shook her head at Dorridge’s holler. The red blinking light indicated the front desk. Marijke picked up, “¿Bueno?”
The front desk began, “Hola, esta es la recepción. Hay un Sr. Abdelkader aquí para ver Doctor Dorridge.”
Marijke understood only a bit. “Hello”, “reception”, “Abdelkahder”, and “Doctor Dorriedhay”. Better not to risk it. “No hablo Español.”
The front desk stammered, “Ah, uh, uh, this is recepción? There is, uh, Mr. - ” Marijke heard a voice in the background, a younger one. The attaché. The front desk continued, “Sorry? Sayyid Abdelkader is here to see Doctor Dorriedhay?”
Marijke corrected, “Dorridge. Dorr-idge.”
“Si.”
Marijke looked in the direction of Dorridge’s room, then held up the P99, looked at it for a minute. She licked her lips once and said into the phone. “Five minutes? ¿Cinco minutos?” The front desk said something she couldn’t understand, ‘mooey bein’, whatever the hell that was and rang off. Marijke went back to Dorridge’s room.
Dorridge was just throwing on his tie. Marijke knocked on the jamb, “They’ll be up in five minutes, Herr Doktor.”
“Good good. I trust you’ve calmed down about that border nonsense, then?”
“Calm? Yes.”
Dorridge turned to her. “Like a mountain stream.” Turning back to the mirror, Dorridge said, “Be a dear and see to it that those brutes at the crossing didn’t throw our documents too out of order, will you? Lord knows what those malcontents did…” and trailed off into “bloody”s and “damnable”s.
Marijke grabbed the briefcase on her way back to her breakfast. The toast was cold. “Verdammte scheiße.”

“Ah, the lovely Marie.” Marijke didn’t respond to Abdelkader’s greeting, only showed him and his attaché in to the sitting room to find Dorridge who stood to meet Abdelkader saying, “And Doctor Dorridge.”
“Sayyid Abdelkader. Come in come in. I must say, we weren’t expecting you.” With that, Dorridge sat, motioning at the chair across from him.
Abdelkader declined Dorridge’s offer of a seat. “I’m afraid I won’t be staying that long, Doctor. I’ve come in person only to stress how important it is to the Moroccan people that you cease your plan to - ”
“Ah, yes yes, the bridge.” Dorridge was going to play, as the Yanks said, hardball with Abdelkader. “Well, if the Moroccan people aren’t interested, surely the Spanish people will be so no need to worry, Sayyid.”
“Doctor, perhaps you misunderstand me. I do not come here to personally decline your proposal but to insist that you cease proposing it. To Morocco, to Spain, to anyone who may have an interest.”
Dorridge stopped at that. So it wasn’t that Abdelkader had come around, it was that he was going to try to kill the bridge project. For anyone. Dorridge chuckled, “For starters, Sayyid Abdelkader, Spain and Morocco are the only two countries on the strait. To follow up from that,” Dorridge stood now, “you haven’t any damnable place telling me what to do with my bridge. If Spain wants it, I’ll sell it to Spain. And I bloody well won’t ask for permission first.”
Abdelkader drew in a heavy breath through his nose. “I take it, then, Doctor, that you’ve already forgotten your border crossing yesterday?”
“Ah, Marie had her suspicions that that was your doing. Bloody dirty trick, Sayyid; juvenile, too. All it accomplished was reinforcing a strong desire never to set foot in Morocco again. And seeing as how I intend to do business with the Spaniards, I foresee no need to ever cross into your ‘fair country’ again.”
“You speak before you think is your problem, Dorridge. Consider that, for all you know, that may be the least I can do.”
“I’m not going to stand here and listen to your veiled threats and try to infer what you mean, Sayyid Abdelkader. Now, if you’ll excuse us, Marie and I have to prepare for our departure.”
“And what makes you so sure you’ll depart?” Dorridge stopped again. Abdelkader continued, “I’ll explain for you, Doctor, as you refuse to ‘infer’ what I mean. Morocco and Spain are friends, after all. Diplomats are - ”
“Oh, bloody well get on with it!”
“Until I have your word that you will stop trying to bridge the strait, you may consider yourself a permanent guest of Ceuta.”
“You fool; you’ll start a bloody war behaving like that!”
Marijke clicked off the safety on the P99.
Abdelkader replied, “What? It’s rather simple. Until I have your word on the matter, there will be a large amount of heroin waiting to be found in your luggage at the port.”
Marijke eyeballed Abdelkader’s attaché.
Dorridge scoffed, “You idiot. I could always lie to you. Then I could go back to England, go to the press, and tell them all about Moroccan diplomacy.”
Abdelkader’s attaché shifted his weight from one foot to another.
Abdelkader continued, “Not if we have your attachée. There is, of course, always a mix up with…” turning to Marijke now, “one’s reisepass, no? There is another German word for you.”
“Whatever you’re implying with that, Sayyid, it’s the wrong damnable thing to imply.”
Abdelkader’s attaché reached into his jacket and, in a flash, Marijke had the muzzle of the P99 to his temple. Carefully, measured, she told him, “Drop it.”
Abdelkader turned and let out a curse in Arabic, setting a foot forward, he barely noticed Marijke’s free hand go under her skirt one moment and holding the silver butter knife buried in his gut the next. Staring at her wide grin, he stumbled back into Dorridge’s arms.
The attaché stared at Abdelkader, mouth agape, and Dorridge blurted out, “What the fuck was that!?”
Marijke’s smile fell, “Halt den mund.” She said it because she knew Dorridge would get it. To the attaché, she said, “Hands up.”
Abdelkader’s attaché did as he was instructed. Marijke reached in and, indeed, there was a mousegun. Baby Browning. “Ich weiß das.”
Over the strangulated gulps of Abdelkader’s attempts at more Arabic curses, Dorridge blurted out, “Knock it off, Marijke!”
“Loaded, eh?”
“Standard issue,” the attaché replied.
“For an assistant? You have weapons issued?”
“No. They are issued to us through Abdelkader.”
“‘Us’? Who is ‘us’?”
“Abdelkader’s attachés.”
Marijke thought for a moment and then clubbed the attaché once with the P99, knocking him out.
“Dear god, woman, what has come over you!?”
“He was armed, Dorridge!”
“Right, and this one? What the hell did you stab him for?”
“He approached. I didn’t like it.”
“Oh, so you didn’t like it. Did you give any forethought as to what the hell we are going to do?”
Marijke shrugged, “You’re a doctor.”
“Of structural engineering! Structural engineering, goddamnit! I’m not a goddamned surgeon!”
“Do you want I should shoot him?”
“No, I bloody well don’t want you to shoot him!”
“He was going to hold me captive to keep you quiet. I have no sympathy for him.”
Abdelkader lay in Dorridge’s arms, coughing gurgling coughs until finally the words came out: “Mar”hack“aye”hack“keh.”
Marijke squatted down to meet Abdelkader eye-to-eye. “Ja.”
Coughgurglesputter. “Bu-char,” cough, “Bu-char of - ”
“ - Brussels. That’s right,” she nodded. “That’s what they call me. Der Schlächter von Brüssel.”
Dorridge shook his head. “Our cover’s blown, now,” he mumbled. “This whole thing is right buggered.”
“Nein. It is salvageable.” Marijke stood and dragged the attaché’s body over to Abdelkader’s. She took his left hand and formed a grip around the butter knife. Then, taking Abdelkader’s hand, which struggled against hers, she gripped it around the pistol. Abdelkader fought. Marijke kicked him in the bag and he gave a gross, gargled yelp.
“Herr Doktor?” She handed Dorridge the gun. “Against the temple. If he fights me, kill him.”
“What!?”
“Tun was ich sage, verdammt!”
Dorridge held the gun to Abdelkader’s temple. Abdelkader, limp and defeated, weeped a little as Marijke wrapped his fat finger through the trigger guard. She placed the barrel against the attaché’s temple and squeezed Abdelkader’s finger.
With a quick bang, there was a brief red spray out of the other side of the attaché’s head, Abdelkader fainted and Marijke began screaming frantically without moving.
Dorridge yelled, “What are you doing!?” Marijke got up, still screaming in a shrill high pitch which eventually turned to repetitions of “oh my god”s and wrote a short note at the breakfast table. She handed it to Dorridge. It read:
“They came discuss bridge. They argue (Arabic). Struggle. Skinny stabs fat, fat shoots skinny. Go with it.”
With Marijke starting to cry a little, Dorridge slowly got himself into the role. “Oh god”s repeated until it became “what happened”s and then louder and louder still.

It had taken the staff only two minutes to come up to their room. Questions came in Spanish and, when those failed, in Arabic and, when those failed, in English from the front desk boy who had been on the phone earlier acting as an inept interpreter. Dorridge and Marijke held up the story she’d concocted when the police came. It would have caused an international scandal if Marijke had not texted an extraction crew while screaming in those two minutes.
While the police were there, one agent appeared producing credentials connecting him with Interpol and another producing credentials from Scotland Yard. Scotland Yard found and concealed the P99, Interpol argued about jurisdiction with the Spaniards. Unseen by anybody was another agent, Policia, pretending to gather evidence while packing Dorridge’s and Marijke’s bags and putting them on a luggage cart to go to a car waiting downstairs in the garage. Scotland Yard talked with Dorridge and Interpol consoled Marijke on their way out the door.

On the ferry to Algeciras, Dorridge and Marijke under guard from the three extraction agents placed strategically around the ship, Dorridge said to Marijke, “That was bloody brilliant. I mean both of those, really. Bloody and brilliant.”
“I’m sure we can recover from this,” Marijke said. “We just have to explain about Abdelkader’s blackmail scheme.”
“I suspect his life is ruined now.” A pause. “He turned out to be a wicked man in the end, sure, but I knew he had a wife. Two children.”
Coldly, Marijke stared out at the strait, “He should have thought of them first, then.”
Dorridge resigned himself, “True.”
“And your wife? What will you tell her?”
“Hm? My wife? I’ll tell her that I finally saw the Butcher of Brussels in action.”
“Can you? Does she know what you do?”
Dorridge smirked a little. “It’s how we met. We were part of a team building a water treatment plant in Vietnam.”
“What is she like? You’ve told me about her but only that - that she, uh… You’ve told me only that you have a wife. You’ve never told me about her, though.”
“Oh!” Dorridge pulled a smoke from his pocket. “Well, for starters, she doesn’t let me have these anymore.” He lit up and then paused. “Oh, pardon my manners,” offering the pack to Marijke.
She said, “Danke.” Marijke stopped. “Thank you.”
“No no, it’s quiet alright. Now that this assignment is dead in the water - pardon the expression given our location - I suppose it doesn’t matter much, now.”
Marijke took a light from Dorridge and said, “So? Go on.”
Dorridge blushed. “She’s sweet. Too good to me, hell, too good for me, really. Let’s see…
“She’s from Birmingham. Uh, she’s about my height - ”
“Tall, then.”
“Oh, the woman’s practically Amazonian.” Dorridge stopped, continued. “Always wanted kids but she had a tubal ligation and I had a vasectomy. Nature of the work’s to blame, really. Hell, we shouldn’t even be married.”
“Because you’re always away?”
“That, true,” Dorridge exhaled, “and that there are days like today. Not much of a great situation to raise a child in let alone get married in but we went ahead and did it just the same.
“You know? She has this thing about Julia Childs. When we both have time at home, she always cooks something new. Has a score of Julia Childs books she inherited from her mother. And then she raids my garden for the fresh vegetables.”
“You have a garden?”
“A modest one, yes. Peter - Dr. Henry taught me about gardening. I hated it at first but I grew into it. You know? That first crop fails and you take it as a challenge after that. You plug away at it until you’ve attained success. Given that you have the right mind set.
“But she wanted children? She cooks. I… I guess maybe I do, too? I garden.
“And sometimes we talk about it. Not as much as we used to but it still happens.”
“Did you want a boy or a girl?”
“Oh, dear,” Dorridge chuckled a deep, throaty chuckle. “Ah… I wanted a son. Bond with a male, you know. Someone to shape in my image. No ‘first period’ or first dates and randy young men to worry about, you know? Raise a right gentleman. Name him something fine and fitting, too. Peter.”
“After your friend?”
Dorridge nodded quietly, then, “He was a good man. Doesn’t hurt matters that his surname is a given name. Peter Henry Dorridge.”
“You regard him very highly.”
“Indeed.” Dorridge sighed. “Nadine wanted a daughter, though. Probably for the same reasons I wanted a boy. Someone to mold after her, I suppose.”
“And what would you have named her?”
Dorridge field-stripped the butt of the cigarette over the side of the boat and slid the filter into his pocket. Without looking at Marijke, he said, “Marie.”

At 221B Baker Street, on a Saturday, Nadine Corrin-Dorridge answered the door to greet a courier with a dozen red roses. She thanked the courier and offered a generous tip before closing the door. She found her husband out in the garden in the back yard. Carrying the flowers, she snuck up behind him and asked, cheekily, “What’s this, love?”
Doctor Dorridge, inspecting his tomato plants, betrayed a start. He turned and found his lovely bride standing behind him with a dozen red roses. He stood and said, “Oh. Well, someone has a secret admirer. Are these for you?”
“Well, I should hope so; why would you send yourself roses?”
“Send myself - ?” Dorridge cocked an eyebrow. “I… Nad, I never sent roses. At least not recently.”
“No? Well, who are these from?”
“Did you read the bloody card?”
Nadine Dorridge gave a playful smack to Dorridge’s cheek. “Language, love.”
“Yes yes yes, I do beg your pardon.” With that, Dorridge kissed his bride on her cheek. Correcting himself, “Did you read the card?”
“Well, no. Who else… ” Nadine fished through the roses for a card and found it enveloped. “Oh, drat, I have my hands full, can you - ”
Dorridge cocked an eyebrow, “Your hands are full… Yes yes, let’s see it.” Taking the envelope from his bride, “You want to stir jealousy in me, do you?”
Nustling close to Dorridge, Nadine claimed, “Just giving you first dibs on who to shoot.”
Opening the envelope, Dorridge nudged his bride’s ribs with his elbow. “Oh, what a lovely card.”
“Well, open it.”
Dorridge opened it up.
“Well, who’s it from?”
Dorridge smirked. “Our daughter. The butcher.”
“What’s that then?”
Dorridge kissed his bride on the forehead. “Marie.”