My life is simple now. There’s no one in my corner. I’ve stood in corners scratching myself wonderin’ where the scratches are coming from as well as listening to the same dumb album over and over again.

My folks decided to let me travel. My dad arranged it so that I could get away from the stresses of the family. He sees what living on the streets has done to me. We talked about the junk that went on while I was not happy and I was running away from being a part of his family. So its travel and living with my sister in Germany. Her family is growing. Dad says I’d understand her focus once we saw each other.
Mom doesn’t want me in her house. I can’t wait for tomorrow. She locked me out of the house last night when I went out side for a cigarette. I slept outside on a sofa. Dad let me in at 5:30am to shower and get ready for Germany.

We drove to Philadelphia airport at 6am. Dad made a stop for egg and cheese and “maybe some meat on there”. I went with egg and cheese. Dad got scrapple. Dad got double scrapple on his egg and cheese.
Dad parked and we went into the airport. I was a mess. I was nervous about travel and such but mostly nerves. I did not scratch.

Dad pulled out his egg and cheese with double scrapple. In front of me was a guy. I divorced myself from Dad while he ate his sandwich. The guy had a long case that looked like a saxophone, one of the other lesser wind instruments. Dad was hemming and hawing over his scrapple while eating it. He dropped scrapple on the floor and then picked it up and ate it. Sometimes he held it up to the light to see if it had any hairs. He stared at the errant piece of food as if he could see its molecules. When it was good enough for him he popped it in his mouth. I asked him if he had to and he said, MMM.

Finally the line reached the guy in front of me. He was a tree climber and he had his Stihl saw with him. It clearly had his name marked on the case. He was Denny. He wrote it three times all over the case. So Dad said goodbye and I hugged him. I asked him where he was going and he replied not to Germany. A scared silence came over me. I thought what does that mean for me?

He said Auf Wiedersehen and told me to kiss his grandbabies. I almost cried, said good bye and turned to hear Denny saying, What do you mean I can’t take my saw with me the on this airline, Lars. Errica comes with me every where. You can’t separate us even for this plane ride.
And then someone added
Yeah Lars what are you talking about the rest of us have a plane to catch.” Said a guy with the cheesiest mustache I ever saw. His top lip was nearly covered and the shit was so thin I nearly laughed at him. Come to think of it I did laugh at him. He was wearing the pinkest Bowling T-shirt I ever seen. You could tell he didn’t care what I thought.


Lars made a phone call demanding a supervisor come help him. He was clearly flustered but he was focused and professional. It was early in the morning for him too. Lars stabbed at a coffee cup on his desk. He downed the remainder of the coffee for good luck. I turned my attention to the guy behind me.

Where you goin?, He said
Germany some where.
I see. What’s it say on your ticket?
My dad didn’t give me a ticket.
You should get behind us then.

Dad must have heard us talking cause he showed with a piece of luggage then he handed me my ticket.

I asked him what he was doing in line with that mustache. He said he and the band had a “bowling match” with “those little Omegas”, his words. His plan was to keep the tiniest of the Little Omegas off his equipment. He added that that wold not be the case cause them omegas get everywhere when you work with them.

Lars was getting his moment of fame. Supervisor asked Lars a question and the whole line saw him snap to attention and answer. I ignored Dad cause Lars was making such a scene and that dude with the cheesy French-Canadian moustache.

When Lars finished his answer he sat down so his supervisor could let Denny know that he had to check his saw. Denny and the supervisor walked out of line. Denny walked away whispering to the case that everything would be all right. Four guys and my Dad booed Lars and gave him the finger. My dad was confronted and then escorted from the airport. They screamed Fuck you, Lars and Asshole

Lars was then replaced with a young woman. I guess he had a plane to catch. He turned from us and walked away. The line burst in to cheer and then into song. The four guys behind me broke into line behind me. They distracted me with song as I stood there. The song was I hate my self for loving you. I couldn’t keep my eyes off the dude with the Marten St. Louis mustache. He was singing right at me. And I followed along. I watched his lips and belted out the chorus. I guess we harmonized. I think I just sang lead on that one. I felt happy for the first time in a long time. There might have been tears.

The guy with the waxed up, curled-mustache was the Loudest. He was also the funniest. He stood behind me while I sang.

I said to him that was fun.

He said yeah it was fun. Blouses sing. You want to do something else.
More Joan Jett. I said.
Okay. Blouses: I love rock and roll.

WE know Possum. You started this band remember.
Shut up and sing the song, dumbass. You have a name?
I shook my head no cause I was trying to remember the words.
You’re named Smellbar. It’s a little past Fubar and really hard to get to.

A guy looked over at the conversation. He had straight hair and solid muttonchops. He looked like a cross between Tommy Lasorda and John Madden.

He said, I’m Tommy I lead this band of brothers. What would you like us to call you.”
Wait your Tommy? I thought you were Madden.” Said Rollie Fingers
Rollie, I told you west of Chigaga, I am Madden. You gotta get with it or you’re out of the band.
Smellbar is dumb. My name is kind.
What kind of name is that. Said Lasorda
Hopefully it’s the marrying kind.

After a bit of awkward silence, strike that, After about two weeks of silence standing in one room together A guy with a thick quality mustache and beard looked at me and say I think they are waiting for you. I turned and there was Lars again.

David Wells spoke up, “Fucking Lars.”
Do you have any thing to declare?
I had a six pack of light beer, a six pack of wine coolers and one of these. Wells places an empty of Captain Morgan into the container that you empty your pockets into.
F. Lars says, in a voice sounding reminiscent of Kermit the Frog, I wasn’t talking to you sir. I was talking to the young lady. Your name Miss?
I still don’t know.

Wells gets angry prolly cause he looks like an Irish.
HEY, HEY NARRATOR, You wanna name this character or what?
(Silence)
HEY YOU GOT TWO MORE SECONDS AND THE BLOUSES ROLL!
Tommy eyefucks the air, looks off into the distance and finally he says Blouses Roll!

So Marten Saint Louis, Rollie Fingers, not John Madden and Wells turn on their heels and walk out of line.
Wells yells Bunny you coming?
Bunny walks out of line as well. The five of them hit the streets fast as shit and there stands Denny with Errica naked to the world. Bunny takes a step back.

Wells turns to Denny and says, You know how to play that thing. This happens just as Denny and Errica find their voice. Six become one and Bunny screams something wonderful as the band walks through the parking lot. They sang:
Blow up your T.V. throw away your paper/Go to the country, build you a home
Plant a little garden, eat a lot of peaches/Try an’ find Jesus on your own .