The black shades and the colors that disappear in bright are gone now and it is daytime. That's the word she gave me. Daniel she says you wake up when it is daytime. Try and remember that. If you remember any thing at all. Daniel she says do you know what I say to you. I regard that's the word she gave me her. I regard things. I got regard from her at a place with birds. Can you see she says. She stops. It's not like you know what I'm saying. They regard us, those birds in cages. You ree-guard me. So I regard her. I keep words. Words don't come. My head rocks instead. See the parrot, Paaaaa-Rut, Paaaaa-Rut. She moves her arms up and down slow. She makes a good face when this happens. The parrot that's the word she gave me flaps the arms. It makes a parrot noise. It is like the happy noise she makes when I use colors. The noise comes. Her eye twitches. She gives me words and I absorb that's the word she gave me them. Absorb is a word she uses when she opens a grey curve and the water comes out, rushing. Daniel she says this sponge absorbs the water, Uhb-Zorbs. She holds the thing with her hands and water falls from it.

    Sometimes the bright gets too bright. Then the noise comes and her eye twitches. Sometimes her voice raises to noise levels I got those words from the black box she looks at when that happens. In conclusion, an underground rock show was broken up at a student house in Lansing last night. The students were warned about the noise levels until a complaint was registered with the police. The police encountered disturbances at the house and some students were arrested. Her noise levels make the noise come more and my head rocks and I can't stop it. I have to try and keep it in or she gets the eye twitch and the eye twitch is what happens when she uses her voice about him to Sean on the phone that's the word she gave me. Phone. She holds it in front of me. Voices come out of here and she points at the top. You speak here and she points at the bottom. Daniel she says can you speak. I regard her. She makes the good face. Daniel she says you understand me you do you do I know you do and the noise comes and she makes her own water except it comes out at the top and not the bottom at the jaw that's the word she gave me where mine is. I want to break his fucking jaw. She says it slow and says each word like she says it to me when she tries to give me words. I want. To break. His Fuh-King. Jaw. Her voice is at noise levels though Sean can hear. I can hear too. Your husband doesn't do this. Of course he doesn't. He's so good Sean. Why do you have the luck Sean. You had all the luck. You were the good sister. She never said it would be like this Sean. She holds something with dark water in it. She sometimes smells like the dark water when she breathes on me. She smells like dark water when she isn't at work. Daniel Daniel she says I have to go to work now that's why I'm leaving you here. This is daycare Daniel. The noise comes. Her eye twitches. There are others and their eyes grow big. Her eye twitches. Sean she says he left me Sean. So what the hell happens now. Sean's voice comes from the phone. I regard her. Her water comes from the top part of her face and she feels the colors on her jaw and she sits with the eye twitch the dark water and the phone.

    Daniel she says today we are going to go to the store. We are going to get fruits and meat and vegetables. Let me dress you upsy-daisy up and at them here we go. It's work. She takes the black thing and runs it through. Here Daniel let me comb your hair. You want to look good for the trip don't you Daniel. I have no idea if you care or not Daniel but you'll look good if I have anything to do with it. She looks at me. I regard her. She goes down and holds my feet. Daniel she says sit still and let me tie your shoelaces. I look down. Her hands are making them into bows. These are bows Daniel. On top of this present. It's Christmas Daniel. This is one of your presents. Open it. I regard it. I put my hands on it and open. There are different shades of dull colors at the bottom. Those are paints Daniel. You can paint with them. The paints smell strange. But I make different shades with them and she is happy. That's a beautiful painting Daniel. You made a painting Daniel. Daniel she says you're a little artist Daniel. She is making the happy face. Daniel she says it's time for us to leave. We're going to the store now Daniel. Let's go. You're a good boy today Daniel.

    You're silent today Daniel. Silence is golden. That's an expression Daniel. Si-luhnce is gol-duhn. So I am silent. Outside the colors and the bright shift so fast that it shifts in front of my eyes, rushing, in designs. She designs, Dee-Zigns, at work. So I regard designs. Daniel she says time to get up and out. Here we go Daniel, let me unbuckle you. Now get up out of the car Daniel. There we go. No no no let me hold your hand. That's good. We'll walk up to the store together. She walks with me and holds my hand. We walk to the store. She gets a green thing. Remember when you used to ride in the shopping cart Daniel. Do you. That was fun Daniel. She walks with the green thing slow and I walk too. I see the bows on my feet and then I see the designs under my feet stretching out. Dark and then bright, dark and then bright. I follow the designs. Daniel Daniel she says come here Daniel. I follow the designs. Something goes by. I follow the dark-bright designs. She holds my hand again. My hand hurts. Daniel she says you must not, you just must not walk away like that again. What is so amazing about your feet Daniel. You nearly walked into that man with the shopping carts. He only just managed to avoid you. You scared me Daniel. I regard her. She makes the happy face and says Daniel don't make me scared again please. Then she moves in closer and says it's fine Daniel. She turns away and says oh dear god. She does not say that at noise levels. I regard her. Then I follow her.

    I stay silent and I follow her. She seems to be more happy then. Yellow fruits and orange fruits and red fruits and green vegetables go in the green thing. The cart. Cart. That's a word. Cart. Another word she gave me. The cart moves forward when she does. I keep following her. She puts red meat in the cart and I look at it. I follow it. I keep following it. I look down and the pattern is there again. Dark and then bright. Dark and then bright. This is rare. Another word she gave me. This is a rare day she says making the good face. This is a day when your father isn't calling about the divorce, a day off when I haven't touched Johnnie Walker and a day when I got a raise. This doesn't happen often. Oh it's so rare. And I can say all of this without you asking what it means. Because you don't know do you Daniel.  I regard her. She makes a happy parrot sound. I hear happy parrot sounds as I follow the dark-bright designs.

    I am sitting down. It is very fast. I was following and now I'm sitting. Too fast. Too fast. Too fast. The noise comes. And my head rocks. I can't stop it. Harder and harder my head rocks. The noise is at noise levels. I am stuck. She is trying to hold me but my head rocks too much and it hits her. She holds me until it hurts but I don't stop. Daniel Daniel she says we're in public please it's okay don't please Daniel Daniel sssshhhh Daniel. The noise is at more noise levels. This is rare. I hear the Daniels enough. My head rocks less. It then stops. Daniel she says you walked into that shelf full of cans. You were looking at your feet again. I regard the shelf. It is full of grey things. I regard her. She holds me.

    She stands behind other people. I stand with her. I am silent. I look up at the yellow fruits and orange fruits and red fruits and green vegetables that go on the black thing that moves. Noises come from the red bright. I regard it. Seems like you've got a shouter there ma'am. I look up. She is looking at a man with a green square on behind the black thing that moves. She says I beg your pardon. He says was he disturbed by anything. She says he walked into a shelf, you'd be disturbed by that too. He says your total is 24 dollars and 58 cents, would you like to pay by cash or credit. She says credit. They both stop. He says just seeing if there was anything we could do ma'am. She says No there isn't. Thank you. He says Thank you ma'am and have a great day. She walks with the cart. I regard him. Then I regard her and go with her out of the store. I see her eye twitch two times and then stop.

    The colors and the bright shift again in my eyes. I let the colors shift. Daniel she says this was a big day. This was a trip that took a lot of me. I regard her. She has the eye twitch but her face does not make her own water. She does not regard me. Daniel she says I may make those trips without you in the future sometimes. I look at the bright outside, rushing. That is outside. Outside it is always rushing. The colors in bright and the shades are here and it is daytime.